Seeing as I´ve been reading "Tess of the D'Urbevilles" lately, I´m going to open this blog entry by getting on Thomas Hardy on your asses as say that some solemn misfortune has befallen me. En route from La Paz to Sucre, on board a 15-hour bus journey, my brand new backpack, complete with computer, 24-hold camera, sleeping bag, jackets and most importantly, my passport was stolen from right underneath my nose...or rather my seat for that matter. Also included in those valuable possessions were the things that held all my memories of the trip; my diary and my USB containing all my photos. If it wasn´t for Dropbox and the fact that I´ve become a Facebook fiend, all pictoral memories of our escapades to date would have been lost. Like one of Hardy´s femme fatales, I would have "thrust myself upon the bed and wept until further tears were an impossibility".
The first thing we had to do once checked into Sucre was report the incident to the local Police, which was in itself an ordeal worth of a stage drama. The Police Station was like, I´d imagine, Abu Ghraib prison; helpless looking souls wasnering around or trying to dictate to the clueless officer (who all look about 21) about their stolen herd of sheep. Lightbults flickered on and off and paint peeled off the walls in clumps. If this was a restaurant in New York it would hav been deemed "chic and rustic"; here it was just damp and negleced, just like the heaps of Police paperwork hanging from paper folders in each office. As a former Policeman, and notorious clean freak, had my father seen this state of affairs he would have promptly died of shock. Nevertheless, we were seated on a dodgy wooden school chair and the official took our story down on paper, us dictating the preceedings in what little Spanish we had. We paid 10Bs (about 1 Euro) for the privilege of having a 90-year old woman type up the incident into official report form (with an old typewriter I might add) so that I could apply for a new passport and claim for my lost items from insurance, not so much to initiate any great investigation - I´m pretty sure my report found its way to the bin as soon as I left the station.
As down-hearted as we were (and Kev swearing to beat the culprits to a pulp if ever he found out who they were, bless his chivalry) and feeling a bit limb-less without my camera, we explored the beautiful "White City" of Sucre; Bolivia´s judicial capital - La Paz being the political and financial capital. I regularly beat my head of a wall when we came across the many scenic views and perfect photo opportunities, but I resigned it to the memory bank and walked on. We visited all the architecturally-stunning churches, blinding in their sparkling whiteness, the gorgeous plush green plazas, the Parisian-looking Presidential Palace. One day, we filled in some time by going to what we translated to be a public park up near the north of the city. Much to our surprise, yet total awe, it was in fact the city´s cemetery, but it being Sucre, and once the seat of all the important public figures in Bolivia´s history, it was no ordinary cemetery. It was a beautifully well-kept and manicured cemetery, the entrance to which was framed my doric-style Roman pillars, not unlike the Brandenberg Gate in Berlin and the initial view of the park is made up of elaborate old crypts, being the burial tombs of figures like Aniceto Arce and his extended family. The normal “plebs” of the city are buried in box-like tombs, like the underground sarcophagi of Ancient Rome, where bodies and remains where buried in honeycomb-like tombs. Except these tombs were marble, with names inscribed with gold or black lettering, photos of loved ones encased behind the glass and flowers (fresh flowers) at the forefront. I even found a Barron.
One day we signed up to do the trek to “Las Siete Cascadas”; the 7 waterfalls. We were picked up early by our guide and a companion and driven out to some one-horse town from where we trekked cross-country to a narrow river gorge. The first 3 waterfalls were small, yet perfectly formed (like Andy Garcia) but the trek up to the remaining 4, much more miserable waterfalls involved scaling rock faces with very little foot or hand holds and absolutely no safety equipment whatsoever; just relying on a “boost” from the guide by standing on his shoulders. All well and good you might think, a great adrenaline rush, until we discovered we had to go back the same route, which was 10 times more dangerous climbing down than climbing up. From the body language of the guide, I could tell he wasn´t 100% confident either, which enraged me no end; we had just paid 140Bs to have a complete novice drag us through streams and pools, up and back down rock faces with not as much as a warning that the trek would include some difficult climbing. If my temper had gotten the better of me I would have made a formal complaint to the tour agency, maybe I should have, but I had calmed down once we returned to Sucre and got out of the jeep (we booked through the tour agency in Hostal Torino by the way). Looking back, the day had been gloriously sunny and we DID get to take a dip in one of the waterfall pools; cold yet refreshing and the local kids laughed at our goosepimply chicken skin.
Knowing I had no other choice but to return to La Paz to plead for assistance in getting a new passport at the Irish Consulate, we grumpily boarded a bus back to the capital. La Paz was where the shit really hit the fan. Once back at the Wild Rover hostel, Jack, one of the managers kindly directed me towards the honorary Irish Consulate called Peter O´Toole (no, not the legendary actor), whose consulate (honorary as it was) was addressed in La Paz. Having to ask for directions seeing as our taxi driver seemingly couldn´t read we arrived at the consulate gate and my nerves were soothed by the Harp plaque and the big Irish flag outside. However, the hostile woman who answered the gate just fired a piece of paper at me with someone´s number on it and shut the door, saying there was nobody here I could talk too. Feeling the blood fill my face and knowing, in a cartoon steam would be coming from my ears, I called the man whose number I was given only for him to tell me the best thing to do was to return to the consulate and get a man called Rene to give me a new passport application form. Helpful, especially when I´ve no clue what kind of passport is quickest, easiest and most appropriate for me to apply for. I was also told to call Diana, Peter O´Toole´s business partner, who would “most likely” be returning to her office in La Paz for a 2-hour window the next day, IF her baby didn´t get altitude sickness…. Not knowing whether to laugh, cry or shout the word “babysitter!!” at this woman, I hung up the phone and walked in a boiling temper back up the hill to the consulate. I buzzed at the intercom and demanded to be allowed inside. As my voice was probably fairly threatening, the men inside quickly let me in and tried to help me as much as they could, I only afterwards discovered they didn´t even work in the consulate at all, but in the construction company which takes up 90% of the building in which the “Irish Consulate” exists. My numerous calls to Peter O´Toole were most unhelpful, I go the impression every time I was waking him up or interrupting a Thai Massage, and he justed ended up recommending that I call the only Irish embassy in the continent (in Argentina) for info. He then made me aware that his office is based in the city of Santa Cruz, so I explained to him how baffled I was that the consulate be based in La Paz when the Irish consulate himself doesn´t even work in La Paz. To that he didn´t have much answer, but I put it down as one of the world´s mysteries. Jerry O´Donovan however, the kindly Irish voice in the Argentina-based Irish Embassy was a world of information and armed with new information on what I needed etc, I went back to the consulate the next day, met the infamous Diana and was once again put on the phone to O´Toole, who yet again couldn´t help me and I somehow was convinced to apply for the wrong kind of passport. I cursed and blasphemed until I scared away birds from rooftops – why in the name of God is it so hard to get the right information from anyone in Bolivia?? This problem was only discovered when I gave a quick call to Jerry in Buenos Aires, he told me the blunder and re-assured me that we would fix the situation at no extra cost to me. Frustratingly though, this new passport will take at least 3 weeks to arrive, and after spending a fortune on phone calls back and forth and internet costs I was ready for a drink. BUT, Kev and I now have a few weeks to see the rest of Bolivia and hopefully our luck will improve!!
Where we stayed: Hostal Masi Wasi
How much?: 120Bs for a private double, private bathroom